First Rites: Young Men Rising!

For Boys 13 – 15 Years of Age
October 7 - 9, 2023
Rolling Ridge, West Virginia

This is an event which was held this past year. We are hoping to have additional First Rites in 2024.

Life is a journey. A wonderful and difficult journey! At times each of us, no matter where we are on our journey, can feel lost, unsure of which next step to take at the inevitable fork in the road. These inflection points can seem more prevalent -- and daunting -- during transitional times in our lives, such as stepping from boyhood to adolescence. And there doesn’t have to be a huge decision for it to be tough!

Navigating this natural transformation (usually between the ages of 13-15) in the midst of rapid cultural, political, and technological change can seem downright bewildering, especially if you are trying to navigate it alone. But the good news is that you do not have to go it alone! In addition to parents/guardians, mentors, coaches, and others, you can find support from a global community of men who understand and care. You can also find support from peers who share common experiences. While manhood does not come with a manual, it does help immensely to share deeply with guys of the same age and learn from men who are further along on their journeys.

And it will be fun! You’ll make new friends – guys you can actually talk to about what’s real in your life.

Rites of Passage

First Rites - Young Men Rising will equip and empower young teen guys to transition from boyhood to adolescence in ways that honor and facilitate their emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth.

Illuman East Coast, in conjunction with Nicky Wilks of Journeymen (Vashon Island, WA), will facilitate this vital experience October 7 - 9, 2023 at Rolling Ridge, West Virginia. Our purpose is to guide the rising generation of men to discover their authentic gifts, create a strong vision for their future and fully engage in their world through meaningful service and effective, heart-centered action.

What are Rites of Passage Experiences?

How are they relevant to today’s young teens?

Rites of Passage use ritual, ceremony and times of silent reflection in nature to mark and facilitate major transitions in life. Adam’s Return by Fr. Richard Rohr looked at rites of passage over millennia to distill common lessons and similar practices across diverse cultures and continents. Modern communities largely stopped initiating boys into adolescence and young adulthood, leaving boys and young males to try to initiate themselves or each other, often in immature and dangerous ways. Richard Rohr created a modern rites of passage in nature for men entering the second half of life. Illuman and its predecessor organization have been offering men’s rites of passage opportunities for two decades, both in the United States and the Western world each year. Men who have taken part in these rites make up a community committed to providing opportunities for other men and to continuing their own journeys into healthy masculinity.

Recognizing that there are other important transitions in life, Illuman has developed rites of passage for young men (19 - 29) and father/son experiences. First Rites - Young Men Rising draws from those experiences, in collaboration with Nicky Wilks, co-founder of Journeymen, Vashon Island, WA.

HOW ARE RITES OF PASSAGE RELEVANT TO TODAY’S YOUNG TEENS?

Resilient, vibrant societies from the past have traditionally upheld ceremonial initiation experiences to welcome youth into adulthood. These rites of passage experiences were vital to the health of young men and the health of their wider societies. However, most youth in modern, Western society will never experience an intentional Rite of Passage, making boys and young men susceptible to misguided, even harmful, influences in their search for meaning and manhood. Boys need healthy challenges and structured times to reflect on who they are and who they want to become. Lacking intentional rites of initiation, boys will try to initiate themselves and each other in risky ways with sometimes devastating results. This is especially true at a time when guys suffer from negative stereotypes about being males, but lack role models for what it means to be a healthy, modern man. Boys and young men often face tremendous pressure to fit into a media-driven “Man Box,” that is actually an unhealthy and inauthentic image of manhood.

Transformation around the ages of 13-15 is often marked by healthy and normative experiences of sports, scouting, religious confirmation, and moving from middle to high school. Unfortunately, it can also be marked by drug use, acting out, premature sexual activity, and separation from healthy norms, rhythms, and relationships. These negative pursuits can happen because there are inadequate outlets for the emotions and needs that rise up due to challenges of transition at this stage in life.

Guys at this stage need intentional structures, times apart from family, and positive challenges to stimulate healthy exploration and expand self awareness. First Rites provides experiences and spaces created and nurtured by elders that help them realize they do not have to navigate the challenges of adolescence on their own. Through experiential learning boys are invited explore feelings, questions and aspirations in a safe, trustworthy environment with their peers. First Rites will help boys define how they pursue growth, community, and relationships.

WHAT WILL WE DO AT FIRST RITES?

First Rites uses nature, games, ritual, challenges, team work and council (guided times of group sharing) to move boys into a more mature sense of themselves.

The guys will be camping outdoors for the three days. They will work together in teams, both for practical tasks and to play games. In fact we play a lot of games at First Rites! We play games for fun, but also as a source of experiential learning. Boys will also face challenges which draw out initiative and build self-confidence. In council, we use “I” statements to speak for ourselves and to listen as others express what’s on their minds. We learn to build trust and communicate honestly with each other about what matters in our lives.

A staff of supportive, trained men, who have walked a similar walk, will support the boys along their journeys. Most are fathers or grandfathers.

First Rites is grounded in these core understandings

Nature is a powerful teacher: We look to our external and internal environments for inspiration, wisdom, and guidance. Finding our place in nature is both enjoyable and healthy, and we don’t have to venture deep into the wilderness to remember our connection.

Growth requires discomfort, not pain: Balancing healthy risk with safety is where this work shines. To find and step into our personal growing edges is empowering. We accept and dial ourselves into appropriate challenges that move us more deeply into our true selves.

Integration brings it home: Ongoing support and engagement creates lasting change in us and in our communities. In a world of abundant “peak” experiences, the real work happens everyday, and we support on-going growth after camp itself.

First Rites encourage boys to recognize and tap into their inherently spiritual nature, but we do not advocate for any specific faith or religion. Parents and community have the responsibility to educate and shape their sons’ understanding of how they belong in, and connect to, the universe.

The First Rites Experience

We will send directions, detailed packing list and other information after registration.

Boys will be camping outdoors for the three days. Nourishing, healthy meals are included.

We can accommodate GF and vegetarian diets.

The First Rites PAYMENT
$400

The $400 payment is required prior to your participation in the First Rites
We do not want finances to limit participation for any boy who is otherwise ready. For questions regarding fees to request a scholarship, please contact us
If you have any other questions or concerns, please contact us.

Apply Here

Frequently Asked Questions
for Dads, Moms and Boys

What skills will my son gain?

In our experience, these rites of passage for boys entering adolescence will stimulate your son

To think about himself in newer, deeper ways - and begin to articulate that to self and others;
To think about goals for life that transcend school, occupation, etc.
To identify ways in which he wants to grow, challenges to that, and how to proceed in focused and healthy ways;
To approach challenges in new ways and with new confidence.
To become aware of his own sources of inner strength that he can nurture in coming years to support his journey.

Dads

What if I am a dad and have no experience of Rites of Passage?

Illuman men would be happy to chat by phone or Zoom. If you heard about this from a man active in Illuman, ask him about his own rites of passage. Otherwise, email youngilluman@icloud.com and a man will set up a time to talk.
Read Adam’s Return, Richard Rohr’s seminal book on contemporary rites of passage.
Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax, Ph.D., and Better Boys, Better Men by Andrew Reiner offer very good insights into the difficulties boys are facing today.
Be curious with your son about rites of passage and why they were so vital to the survival of earlier societies.
You can talk about your own transition at his age.
Look into the Illuman Father-Son Weekend (to be scheduled in 2024).

Moms

Will my son be safe?

The safety of your son is our highest value. Supervision by two or more adult male staff members will occur throughout the entire experience. Staff are familiar with natural environments. We have taken care to ensure your son’s physical security and all members of staff have submitted to background checks.

Why should he do rites of passage?

The rites involve a time of separation from life as usual. They will be conducted in the world of nature and will challenge your son as he bonds with other boys and men through games, rituals and councils. These experiences are designed to increase his sense of personal competence and agency as he learns to trust himself in ever deeper ways.
Boys need to be with healthy men who are honest about their own imperfections – men who can model what it means to be comfortable in a masculine identity, encouraging boys to understand what it means to respect themselves and others (especially women) as self-identified males.
These Rites of Passage affirm that your son is making an intentional transition in which he has both agency and responsibility for the outcomes.

Why can’t I see a detailed program?

Entering a rite of passage requires an element of mystery and trust. Boys are challenged to live in the moment and respond to invitations to play, engage new experiences, and process with guys they did not know when they arrived. This experience of meeting the moment as it comes and reflecting on it with peers and male mentors is one of the ways boys develop confidence in their ability to cope with life.
As we wrote above, growth requires discomfort, not pain. Balancing healthy risk with safety is where this work shines. We provide experiences, structures, and times of reflection with their peers, then we encourage boys to take that into life. Our experience is that that is almost always exciting and formative in positive ways.
First Rites is not in place of, but complementary to, other rites of passage, such as Confirmation, Bar Mitzvah and Scouts.
This is not for everyone. If your son is not yet mature enough, let’s stay in touch.

Guys

I’m a teenage guy and I am not sure about this!

We have designed this camp to be fun and to connect you with other guys your age. Overcoming challenges and sharing experiences in nature tends to create real bonds.

In our experience, guys come out of these rites with greater self-awareness, self-confidence and readiness to meet the challenges of growing into young manhood. You are “Young Men Rising!”

This must be your decision. You’re welcome to have a conversation with a member of Illuman staff to explore your questions and concerns. Email youngilluman@icloud.com to set up a call.

No one from Illuman will pressure you to do this! Boys who are not ready are not likely to gain the full benefits and may keep other guys from having fun and making friends.
Who is suggesting you should consider First Rites? Have an honest conversation about your doubts or concerns.

Comment from one of the guys who experienced First Rites in 2022:

My experience of the First Rites camp was unforgettable – everything from playing lots of games to getting up before dawn to go on a hike. What fun! I still miss the group of guys I shared this time with.

REFERENCES

How can I learn more about Initiation and Rites of Passage?

Adam’s Return by Richard Rohr is the basis of Illuman’s rites of passage. From Wild Man to Wise Man is Rohr’s earlier book looking at issues around growing into mature manhood.
More about Illuman East Coast: https://www.illumandc.org/
More About Journeymen, Vashon Island, WA: https://journeymen.us/
Need for Rites of Passage by Richard Rohr: Why Initiation?
What are Men’s Rites of Passage? What is MROP?

Better Boys, Better Men by Andrew Reiner - chapter 2 “Boys to Men”
A recent and much discussed take on the “crisis” in modern males: Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves. Reeves’ overview includes policy proposals. There is also a 15 minute summary of his main points on YouTube. He does not address rites of passage.